I feel I’ve been a little bit of an boastful asshole. My preliminary emotions of being the one one who knew easy methods to care for a child conditioned me to consider that every little thing Koreans had been saying had been foolish superstitions.
I’ve since modified the phrase superstition to custom.
Particularly relating to the recovering mom, if these traditions are vital to her then they need to be honored. Even when they’re placebos, the relieve a Korean mom’s stress and help in restoration. I’ve determined to solely step in an contradict if I really feel a follow would do extra hurt than good or in the event that they immediately battle with my perception methods–as in, nobody’s taking away Jian’s binky.
The brand new helper ajumma is right here proper now, and I’m listening to EJ chortle for the primary time since giving start. I haven’t talked to her but about how she feels about this one, however she appears to know what to do higher than the opposite one. She instantly heated a pad and gave EJ a correct breast therapeutic massage. I assume it was correct as a result of EJ was howling in the kind of ache folks get when going by way of Thai massages. She now teaching her on breastfeeding, and he or she’s displaying strategies that I noticed on You Tube how-to movies. So, up to now, so good.
Right here’s the place I may use some assist, and I’d prefer to make this publish an ongoing dialog and a useful resource for different fathers with Korean wives. I’ve regarded on the web, and there’s not a lot on the market that’s definitive, so let’s acquire what we all know into one place.
There’s a continuously quoted article by Yeoun Soo Kim-Godwin, Ph. D., MPH, RN, about non-Western beliefs and traditions about post-partum care (PDF right here). It’s a superb place to begin, particularly when she talks about her private experiences giving start within the U.S.
It is a idea I consider we should always undertake as People. It’s not American bashing, which I get accused of typically for mentioning areas the place we are able to enhance. What I feel is one in all America’s strengths is its skill to adapt and enhance itself based mostly on the influences of its numerous cultures. And that is one thing that I feel new moms would like to change into the norm.
In comparison with plenty of South American and Jap cultures, People put far more emphasis on the newborn than on the recovering mom after childbirth. The place these cultures stress {that a} mom take as much as a month to recuperate, American tradition believes {that a} new mom may be “up-and-at-em” inside every week–again to driving, carrying groceries and doing common duties that even fashionable science has discouraged.
In Korea, there are 21 days, samil-il, the place a mom’s job is to only eat and relaxation. Her physique is weak and damaged. If she doesn’t recuperate absolutely she will have persistent points sooner or later. Whether or not or not you consider this, it’s the custom. And it does make sense.
What I need to do right here is acquire the Korean conventional post-partum beliefs. I don’t need to decide them and label them as to how sensible I feel they’re. However I’ll categorize them in whether or not they’re present beliefs or have fallen out of favor in fashionable Korean society or are simply questionable sources.
Present Fashionable Korean Traditions
- 21-42 days of restoration for the mom
- Consuming Miyeok-guk (Seaweed Soup) a minimum of thrice a day
- Perception: it cleans the blood and contracts the uterus
- Contemplating the variety of slim in-shape younger moms I’ve seen in Korea, who is aware of if this would possibly even have some reality to it?
- Don’t eat onerous or crunchy meals
- Medical science reveals that new moms’ gums are tender after start, so there may be some reality to this
- Moms ought to keep heat
- That is an outdated humors perception in cold and hot frequent in east Asia and different cultures. The blood is sizzling, and moms lose this in childbirth, so they need to at all times be stored excessively heat to recuperate this misplaced humor.
- This contains not consuming chilly liquids. They should be sizzling or at room temperature. And no ice cream!
- Keep away from chilly drafts. The idea is {that a} lady’s bones are free, and a draft can enter the joints and trigger rheumatism or arthritis in outdated age.
- At all times put on socks and blankets
- Moms have a particular caretaker
- That is both an elder feminine within the household, an individual employed to assist or a while in a post-partum clinic, often called a sanhujoriwon
- Moms’ major jobs are to eat and relaxation
- No home chores
- No driving
- Don’t depart the home
- That is one other one which has some backing in medical research
- Correct breast massages
- I don’t suppose that is strictly a Korean perception
- Scorching pads and sizzling towels on the breasts additionally assist–and are additionally not strictly Korean practices
Outdated or Questionable Korean Traditions
- Folks aside from the mother and father can’t see the new child for 100 days.
- Korea used to have a excessive toddler mortality price, so infants had been stored secret from the general public till they reached 100 days outdated and had higher survival possibilities. That’s the premise for the baekil 100-day ceremony.
- Moms mustn’t take showers or wash their hair
- It’s believed that this can make them chilly, however that is beginning to fall out of favor