Welcome to the Open Thread, everybody! Thanks for becoming a member of in on this group watch of this very particular present! That is the final thread. 🥲
As I discussed in my announcement publish, these are my notes, precisely as they seem on Patreon.
If you need to go to my overview of the present, you could find it right here.
Moreover, you may also like to take a look at my posts on the varied specials as follows:
The Crimson Sleeve Discuss Present Particular
Radio Star E755: The Crimson Sleeve Particular Half 1
Radio Star E756: The Crimson Sleeve Particular Half 2
With out additional ado, listed here are my reactions to this set of episodes; have enjoyable within the Open Thread, everybody! ❤️
My ideas
Episode 15
This turned out to be fairly the pivotal episode, and I really feel barely overwhelmed. There’s so much to course of, this hour.
We begin the episode with the kiss scene the place we’d left off, final episode, and it looks like there’s a lot happening, between San and Deok Im.
The kiss begins out indignant, with San forcing himself on Deok Im, nevertheless it isn’t lengthy earlier than it turns tender, with a way of marvel about it, as Deok Im relaxes into San’s arms, and kisses him again.
However then, San pushes Deok Im away from himself. Deok Im appears considerably dazed and disorientated, like she’s been woken from a dream, and I interpret that to imply that she’s reeling from the shock of not simply the kiss itself, however of her personal response to the kiss, which vibes involuntary, to my eyes.
What stunned me extra, is San’s indignant demeanor and response, post-kiss, the place he orders Deok Im to depart the palace earlier than daybreak, and to by no means present herself earlier than him once more.
I needed to assume on this one, for a bit.
And, after pondering on San’s response for a while, I conclude that it’s.. sophisticated.
I really feel that a part of it, is San testing Deok Im, to see if she would ask to remain, as a result of I imagine that San needs some form of proof to indicate that Deok Im feels the identical method about him as he does in the direction of her, and Deok Im not wanting to depart, would point out, at the least in some measure, that she doesn’t need to be aside from San.
I really feel that one other a part of it, is San making an attempt to spare himself the torment, of being close to Deok Im, however feeling so distant from her, as a result of she retains pushing him away.
After all, that is considerably at odds with the truth that Deok Im’s simply kissed him again, however I feel that San understands that that is unlikely to vary Deok Im’s official stance on the matter, and that’s why he’s making an attempt to take away her from his life.
On hindsight, I additionally assume that it’s very attainable that that is additionally San’s effort in the direction of defending Deok Im. As he describes later within the episode, if he had been to mattress her, and if she then refused to just accept the title of royal concubine, she could be relegated to the again corners of the palace, the place she could be ridiculed by different courtroom maids.
In truth, the extra I take into consideration this, the extra satisfied I’m, that San ordering Deok Im out of the palace, is to guard her from such a destiny.
As a result of, now that he’s kissed her, and tasted what it’s wish to be intimate along with her, it’s seemingly that he realizes that it will be extraordinarily tough for him to cease himself from taking this additional – notably within the context of the occasions, the place there isn’t any reproach for a King who decides to mattress his courtroom maid.
And so, my conclusion is that San’s main purpose for expelling Deok Im from the palace, is to guard her from himself – and from the dismal destiny, that may come from her persevering with to refuse the title of royal concubine, if he actually had been to have his method along with her.
After all, San appears indignant, as he bites out the phrases with a snarl, “Go away the palace earlier than the daybreak breaks. Get out of my sight! I don’t want to see you once more.”
My interpretation of that anger, is that, 1, he needs to get via to Deok Im, that he’s severe about his order for her to depart the palace, and a couple of, he’s indignant at having to ship her away, as a result of it’s not one thing that he truly needs to do.
And, I do assume there may be resentment in there in the direction of Deok Im as nicely, as a result of the entire purpose he’s sending her away, is as a result of she refuses to acknowledge her emotions for him – emotions which have made themselves obvious, in her reflexive response to his kiss.
Though Deok Im shouldn’t be aware about the explanations behind San’s command, she clearly is aware of him nicely sufficient, to know that he’s severe about ordering her to depart the palace, which is why she packs up instantly, regardless of Court docket Girl Search engine marketing’s protests.
I do imagine what San says, when he tells Court docket Girl Search engine marketing the following morning, that the rationale he’s there on the courtroom girls’ quarters, is to see along with his personal eyes, that Deok Im is not there.
I really feel that Deok Im is a lot part of his life on the palace, and a lot part of his consciousness, as he lives every day on the palace, that it feels surreal to San, to assume that Deok Im would actually not be there anymore.
That, I feel, is why he goes to Deok Im’s quarters, and together with that, I imagine there is part of him that hopes that she would nonetheless be there, despite his personal orders to her, to depart.
Ahhh, it truly is sophisticated.
Not gonna lie; I used to be a bit thrown at first, by the one-year time skip, however I rationalize that once more, that is simply how Present treats the passage of time. If there may be nothing of specific significance to our central OTP story, Present goes to skip over that, and I’d somewhat we had the time skip, than, say, one to 2 episodes delving into San’s and Deok Im’s lives, in the course of the one 12 months separation. 😅
What strikes me about Deok Im’s run-in with Deok Ro, is firstly, how annoying he continues to be, in his accusations in the direction of Deok Im, even in any case this time has handed, and he’s not a member of the palace.
Past that first layer of annoyance, although, it happens to me that the rationale Deok Ro interprets Deok Im’s actions as a calculated danger, the place she’d wager on San not having the ability to take her life for an infraction, is as a result of that’s precisely what he himself had executed.
That’s the one method he is aware of, to interpret the world, and that’s why he assumes that Deok Im had taken a rigorously calculated danger, somewhat than truly wagered her life, as she acted on her coronary heart.
I truly discovered this final arc with Deok Ro fairly illuminating, when it comes to serving to us to grasp his character.
When Deok Im later goes to see him, to take again her phrases about him having brought on his sister’s demise, there are 2 issues that come to my thoughts.
1, that Deok Im is such a good particular person, that her conscience is not going to permit her to have mentioned such an unjust factor to somebody, and probably have that false guilt weigh on their conscience, even when that particular person is somebody who has executed many issues flawed, and has been merciless to her and her mates. I like that about her.
2, that Deok Ro actually is pushed by ambition, to his very core. It actually hits house for me, when he talks in regards to the purpose he’s asking Deok Im to run away with him: in order that he can console himself with the thought that he has the one factor that San can’t have. Wow. Speak about tousled values.
But in addition, that most likely speaks of a complete lifetime of Deok Ro evaluating himself to San, and utilizing San as a measure of success. What a depressing life that should have been, for Deok Ro, as a result of he should have at all times felt like he was by no means sufficient.
As for San visiting Princess Cheong Yeon’s residence, the entire thing hits in another way on hindsight, now that we’re instructed that San himself had made preparations for Princess Cheong Yeon to absorb Deok Im, upon Deok Im’s departure from the palace.
Because of this San agrees to the suggestion to spend the night time at Princess Cheong Yeon’s residence, figuring out that there was a superb probability he would run into Deok Im there. However he agrees anyway.
There’s a heaviness in his voice, as he agrees, which signifies to me that he seemingly needs to see Deok Im, as a result of he misses her, but additionally, form of dreads seeing her, on the similar time, as a result of it will seemingly be a disappointing, irritating &/or heartbreaking encounter.
At first, I’d thought that San freezing in his place, as his eyes come across Deok Im returning to Princess Cheong Yeon’s residence, is out of shock. Nevertheless, now that I do know that he had full information that Deok Im labored there, his response to seeing Deok Im lands in another way, as nicely.
His response shouldn’t be out of shock; his response is a pure response to the truth that Deok Im is as soon as once more in his line of sight. Even after a 12 months, she nonetheless impacts him so deeply. There’s positively one thing romantic about that.
I really feel like there are a selection of issues that issue into Deok Im’s eventual act on the finish of the episode, of reaching for San, and I imagine a kind of issues, is discovering out from Princess Cheong Yeon, that it had been San, who had personally organized for Princess Cheong Yeon to take Deok Im in.
Deok Im’s musing, that he had proven her grace, regardless that she had particularly mentioned issues to harm him, is, I feel, the primary main piece that leads in the direction of her eventual change of coronary heart, when it comes to her choice to keep up her distance from San.
After which, there’s the scene within the backyard that night time, the place Deok Im encounters San whereas lighting lanterns.
From early on within the scene, it’s obvious that Deok Im’s eyes are teary, as she faces San, even earlier than his temper turns onerous and indignant. I feel that’s reflective of simply how deeply it’s hit her, that San had proven grace and mercy to her, when she had deserved punishment.
I additionally are likely to assume that this teariness, is an expression of her emotions for San, which we all know are actual, however which she has suppressed, for thus lengthy.
I feel that the rationale Deok Im asks San to disregard her sooner or later, is her method of shaping her personal punishment, since, to her thoughts, San didn’t truly punish her correctly, in ordering her to depart the palace. As a result of, it will certainly harm her, to have San ignore her, regardless that it’s one thing that she herself is asking for, proper?
I see San’s anger at Deok Im’s request to disregard her, as him being upset that she’s asking to place distance between them once more, somewhat than at the concept that she’s telling him what to do.
It messes with my mind, that San’s menace, to untie Deok Im’s shirt, and principally mattress her proper then, is equal components disturbing, but distinctly scorching, with sexual frisson, as he leans in to her, and gazes at her so intently via lowered lids, as he mutter-growls his phrases.
When it comes to whether or not San is definitely contemplating the concept, I really feel like he’s seemingly.. testing out the concept, each on Deok Im, and on himself. It’s virtually like he’s pondering aloud and fingering the concept, whilst he fingers the ribbon tie on her shirt.
Importantly, he in the end rejects the concept, and I really feel it’s as a result of, because it’s at all times been from the start, San needs for Deok Im to come back to him willingly.
The fascinating factor that I take away from this scene, is that in laying out the precise methods during which San might have taken benefit of his energy – to mattress Deok Im, after which relegate her to the again rooms of the palace, if she had been to refuse a concubine place – San is definitely, in a reverse, probably unintentional, type of method, additionally making clear simply how a lot grace he has exercised, in the direction of Deok Im.
It’s a little bit of an irony, nevertheless it makes a variety of sense after I give it some thought. It’s solely once we know simply how a lot energy San has, to make Deok Im’s life depressing, that we will see clearly simply how a lot San has favored Deok Im, by refusing to make use of that energy.
I really feel that this implication isn’t misplaced on Deok Im, and this added realization, most likely does consider to her eventual change of coronary heart, on the finish of the episode. Not out of concern of San, of what he may do to her if she doesn’t comply, however out of a realization, of simply how valuable she is to him, that he would restrain his hand a lot, to be able to honor and defend her.
On one other observe, the introduction of Princess Hwabin, San’s new concubine, proves to be fairly the catalyst, in our story. Present positive doesn’t waste a lot time in any respect, in exhibiting Princess Hwabin’s not-so-nice colours, eh?
Due to this, it provides me a particular measure of satisfaction, to see San deal with Princess Hwabin with such a definite businesslike type of vibe, from the second he units eyes on her.
On hindsight, I’m fairly satisfied that she had identified that approaching San like that with out permission, was an infraction of royal etiquette, however had calculated that she could be forgiven for not being acquainted with palace norms, and due to this fact approached him on function. I’m so glad that San cuts her off, and instructs Head Guard to escort her house as an alternative.
It’s fairly sneaky of Consort Hyebin to sneak Deok Im again into the palace, by making her one in all Princess Hwabin’s courtroom girls, and this awkward placement does give rise to a superb quantity of discomfort for not solely Deok Im, however San and Princess Hwabin as nicely, however I suppose this actually was the one method for Consort Hyebin to get Deok Im again into San’s orbit.
And, as San’s mom, I can perceive her want to maximise her son’s possibilities at happiness, even when it’s through such an unorthodox, awkward type of association.
I’m somewhat interested by whether or not Princess Hyebin had obtained any particular tip-off about San’s affection for Deok Im, as a result of it seems that Princess Hyebin has it out for Deok Im, proper from the start, virtually. Or, maybe, simply the look on San’s face, at recognizing Deok Im from among the many group of courtroom girls, was sufficient to lift Princess Hyebin’s hackles.
The best way she instantly sends Deok Im to examine her bedding, thus implying her personal proper to share San’s mattress, is such an influence transfer, designed to impress upon Deok Im, the distinction in standing between her and Deok Im.
And, dissatisfied along with her findings, Princess Hyebin then quickly sends Deok Im on that errand to San, to ship the date of their royal consummation, particularly throughout San’s bathtub time.
I really feel that this was to, once more, impress upon Deok Im the rightful nature of her relationship with San, in addition to to check the waters, to see what would occur, if she despatched Deok Im to San, notably at a time when San could be in a state of undress. Sneaky, manipulative lady!
Judging from Princess Hyebin’s actions, she’s going to be somebody whom Deok Im should cope with, going ahead, even after she turns into San’s royal concubine. Simply from this episode alone, we will see that she’s scheming, territorial, malicious, and fast to lord it over somebody who’s weaker. I dislike her an excellent deal already.
On one other observe, my coronary heart aches for each San and Deok Im, as they meet within the bathtub chamber. Although it’s clear that San is terse and on edge, it’s simple to see that in testing Deok Im, by asking her if she is completely satisfied to be again, or if she had been compelled to come back again, San truly deeply wishes to get a sign from Deok Im, that she is completely satisfied to see him once more.
Deok Im’s studied, decorous method solely serves to keep up the space between them, and it hurts each San and Deok Im, as we see from their tearful countenances afterwards.
There’s frustration and resentment in San’s eyes, and resignation in Deok Im’s, however the one emotion that they’ve in frequent on this second, that’s clear to see, via the opposite feelings on their faces, is sorrow. 💔
I hate that Princess Hyebin accuses Deok Im of making an attempt to seduce San, and beats her for it. UGH. She positively has individuals spying on San &/or Deok Im, that’s for positive.
The extra stoic and emotionless Deok Im is, in the course of the beating, the extra furiously Princess Hyebin hits her. That’s positively the mark of a bully.
It makes her angrier, that she will’t get a response out of Deok Im. Not solely that, it’s clear that she’s out to get Deok Im now, with the best way she assigns Deok Im to do laundry within the icy night time climate.
I’m SO glad that San comes upon it, and takes Princess Hyebin to process for disrespecting each him and his mom, in the best way she treats Deok Im.
To San’s credit score, he doesn’t even know that it’s Deok Im, when he makes his method over there. He solely is aware of that it’s a courtroom girl washing garments at a time when it’s forbidden to take action, which suggests that he’s honest; he would’ve spoken up for and saved another courtroom girl, in Deok Im’s place.
I like that it’s when San is pondering his mom’s phrases to him, to be completely satisfied, that he comes upon Deok Im shedding that tear, on the bridge.
With everybody round them eliminated, and due to this fact, a short lived lifting of context, I like how San speaks frankly with Deok Im, asking first after her palms, after which, asking if she’s crying as a result of Princess Hwabin has harassed her once more, “I’d somewhat you cry due to me. Solely cry after I can see you. Don’t cry by your self after I can’t see you or know you might be crying.”
Deok Im’s musing, over Deok Ro’s demise, and the way every little thing adjustments so quickly, and the way, as soon as modified, it might’t return, additionally looks like one other issue, on prime of the sooner ones I discussed, in her eventual change of coronary heart. There’s a lot that has modified, between her and San, and this does really feel like a valuable remnant of happier occasions, that, if she lets go of now, could by no means return to her once more.
I imagine, although, that the deciding issue, is when San, coming to the belief that it had been Deok Im who had saved him all these years in the past, by tearing out the offending pages of the forbidden e-book, thanks Deok Im, for having at all times saved him.
In addition to the truth that San is laying his coronary heart naked earlier than her, and telling her that he can’t bear it when she cries, which is touching in itself, I really feel that the truth that he thanks her, affirms her self-worth and self-value, in a method that very a lot aligns with why she’s at all times desired private company to start with.
I really feel that the truth that San is ready to acknowledge her worth and specific it in his thanks, is the ultimate, decisive factor that causes Deok Im to achieve for his sleeve, as he turns to stroll away in unhappy resignation, believing her silence to imply that there actually is not any method for issues to return to the best way they had been.
The truth that she reaches for his sleeve, is every little thing, on this second. That is the primary time she’s reaching for him, and within the context of every little thing that he’s mentioned, that is her, telling San, that she would love for issues to return to the best way they had been; she would love him to come back near her; she does need to be near him. Ahhh!
The conclusion of all this stuff, registering in a single lengthy second, in San’s eyes, looks like that breathless second, on the precipice of a rollercoaster, the place you’re feeling such as you’re suspended in time. After which, the fast, decisive, method San takes Deok Im into his arms, and holds her tight, feels just like the swap with which San’s feelings are lastly given launch.
It’s a small launch for a big dam of feelings, however that launch is so very heartfelt, as San whispers, “I’ve missed you so, Deok Im-ah.”
Ahhhh!! So, so valuable, and so, so poignant, that these two are lastly at a spot the place their ideas and their emotions meet. I really feel like I can barely breathe; it’s so valuable.
Episode 16
What a journey this penultimate episode turned out to be.
We start the episode with out OTP’s palms joined, in that scene on the bridge, and finish the episode, with their palms additionally joined, with San and Deok Im collectively, in her chambers, however a lot occurs in between, that I really feel like I want to simply sit and breathe, for a bit, to course of all of it.
I’ve to confess, I used to be a bit disenchanted at how the bridge scene ends, as a result of Deok Im continues to keep up that she want to keep in her courtroom girl place, if attainable. Nevertheless, there may be nonetheless magnificence on this scene, for the second of uncooked honesty, that San and Deok Im share.
He’s so open along with her, as he tells her that he’s missed her, and he’s light, as he asks if she would come, if he requested, and in addition, if she would come to him willingly of her personal accord, and for the primary time, Deok Im is sincere with San, as she tells him that maybe she could be, and maybe she needs to take action – however that she would somewhat preserve her place.
It’s not precisely the complete acknowledgment of her emotions as my fangirl coronary heart had hoped for, on the finish of the earlier episode, however it’s Deok Im being extra truthful about her emotions for San than he’s ever seen or heard earlier than, and that feels valuable.
At the very least San is aware of that in Deok Im’s coronary heart, there’s a measure of want in her, to come back to him, regardless that her want to maintain her place can be essential to her.
The entire arc, of Princess Hwabin doing her darndest to destroy Deok Im and condemn her to demise, makes me detest her so, notably when she persists in asking for a demise sentence for Deok Im, even after Consort Hyebin (bless her coronary heart) steps in to elucidate that the person who has been seen in Deok Im’s firm is her elder brother, and the way she had saved Deok Im and her brother of their childhood, and the way they’d come to have completely different surnames.
The best way Princess Hwabin places her foot in her mouth, by declaring that Deok Im is the daughter of a traitor, as a result of her father had served Crown Prince Sado, a grave sinner, was notably satisfying to observe, particularly when San rises to his toes and spits out with royal fury, that HE is the son of Crown Prince Sado. YES.
I’ve to admit to feeling extraordinarily gratified by the horrified look on Hwabin’s face, as she registers what a horrible mistake she’s made, in her hyper-focus to do away with Deok Im. Muahaha.
I additionally couldn’t assist feeling happy on the Queen Dowager’s pronouncement, that she by no means wished to see Hwabin once more. I’m.. fairly positive that San has comparable sentiments round whether or not he’d wish to see Hwabin once more, which, I feel signifies that Hwabin’s seemingly going to be relegated to spending a variety of time on her personal, in her quarters.
I can think about that if this incident hadn’t occurred, that San may nicely have allowed issues to have remained as they had been, with Deok Im retaining her place as a courtroom girl, and San pining for her from afar.
Nevertheless, now that this has occurred, I feel it turns into clearer than ever, to San, that Deok Im is at risk, and I imagine that’s why he provides the royal order, for Deok Im to not serve Hwabin, and for Deok Im to be dropped at his bedchamber that night time. On hindsight, it’s true that if he had not acted shortly to do that, the Queen Dowager would have snatched up Deok Im by the next morning.
Importantly, regardless that Deok Im involves San’s chambers by his royal command, he doesn’t drive her to do something that she doesn’t need to do.
In truth, I’d assumed that Deok Im’s somber temper needed to do solely with the truth that she doesn’t want to surrender her life as a courtroom girl.
It solely turns into clear, when she begins to speak to San, that she truly believes his actions to be rooted in anger, and a want to punish her, in the best way that he’d as soon as described, in Princess Cheong Yeon’s backyard.
Ahhh. Sure, context is every little thing, in any case. With that reminiscence comparatively recent on her thoughts, and the entire thing with Hwabin technically a little bit of a debacle, it’s comprehensible that Deok Im would misconstrue San’s want to avoid wasting and defend her, as an effort to punish her, as an alternative.
I like how, when San realizes this, he doesn’t truly get indignant along with her, regardless that he might, as a result of she’s technically rebuffing his heartfelt emotions. As a substitute, he stops, and he tells her, so gently and so plaintively, that he doesn’t need to lose her once more.
And, when Deok Im explains that she’s going to lose every little thing within the morning, and requests that he let her go, I’m touched that he listens, after which quietly, intently, gently, says to her, as he holds her hand, and appears into her eyes:
“Can you reside… your complete life with out seeing me? Tonight, should you imply to show me down, I’ll allow you to go. However we are going to by no means get to see one another once more, and this would be the final day we meet.
I like you. It’s okay if you don’t love me again. I don’t care… what emotions you will have for me… whether or not it’s loyalty… or love. When you simply keep by my facet. Give me a solution. Should I really… allow you to go? Inform me. Deok Im-ah.”
Gurgle. It’s all so heartfelt, I’m actually drowning in all my feels.
San is actually laying naked his coronary heart, and, in that second when he thinks that Deok Im’s silence, and her averted gaze, point out her rejection of him, and he begins to let go of her hand, my coronary heart virtually broke for him, as a result of, in that second, his coronary heart should have dropped on the thought that he was going to lose Deok Im, and by no means see her once more.
BUT. Deok Im reaches for his hand, and grasps his fingers, to maintain his hand on hers, and it’s every little thing, on this second. She doesn’t say a phrase, however to San, it’s all that he wants.
That is Deok Im telling him that she doesn’t need to dwell her life by no means having the ability to see him once more; that is Deok Im selecting to stick with him, regardless that he’s providing to let her go. Ahhhh!
The best way San attracts her to himself, and kisses her, is so hungry, but so light, in a single. He’s waited a very long time for Deok Im to come back to him willingly, and now, on this second, she lastly is, and it’s quietly emotional, very, very tender, and actually fairly lovely.
Maybe probably the most lovely second, this episode, although, is the morning after, as Deok Im silently gazes upon San’s sleeping face, and strikes to softly contact his cheek. With all of their context momentarily stripped away, this looks like a second suspended in time, the place she’s simply in a position to be with San, the person she loves.
The best way he reaches for her hand is so light, and the best way they smile at one another, is so tender. And the best way he rolls over, to kiss her yet again, is so light and so.. content material, on the similar time.
I like that on this second, their togetherness is all that issues to San. He doesn’t appear to care, that he’s late for the morning meeting, or that he has royal duties that he wants to satisfy. On this second, Deok Im is his whole world, and I can’t assist however swoon at that.
After all, the realities aren’t fairly so easy, in broad daylight, and I’m glad that Deok Im nonetheless has her mates to rally round her. I’d been midway afraid that Deok Im turning into a concubine would imply the tip of her friendship with Kyung Hee, Younger Hee and Bok Yeon, however nope, these 3 nonetheless have her again, and are nonetheless fiercely loyal to her, and I like that, a lot.
I’m sobered to listen to Deok Im inform her mates, that if she does love San, she would ensure that he by no means finds out. On the one hand, that makes my coronary heart break for San, as a result of he has been so sincere and upfront about how a lot he loves Deok Im.
However, listening to Deok Im speak about it, I can perceive that, to her, that is arguably the final frontier of her private company. She now has so little management over something, that this looks like the one factor which she has management over, and due to this fact, I can perceive her wanting to carry onto that.
I do really feel unhappy for Deok Im, who spends the following 10 days ready in useless, for San to go to her, and I can perceive why she may assume that San now regrets his actions, and is able to banish her to the backrooms of the palace.
HOWEVER. Isn’t context actually every little thing, in any case, as a result of the second San does come to see her, he’s all light smiles and tender kisses.
I’ve to admit that my coronary heart wobbled, when San tells Deok Im that he’d missed her, and that the rationale he’d stayed away, was as a result of he’d believed that she would want time to assume. Aw. San actually is constantly thoughtful of Deok Im’s wants, isn’t he?
Additionally, I couldn’t assist however chuckle, at how San tells Deok Im that he would have come to see her sooner, if he’d identified that such ineffective ideas had been plaguing her thoughts.
How important, that Deok Im now tells San that she doesn’t resent him any longer, and had missed him too. Aieee!!! I do know she hasn’t instructed him that she loves him, however this factor, of her telling him that she’d missed him too, comes fairly shut, sure?
My fangirl coronary heart swooned (and rawred) on the tidbit of data, that San makes positive to go to Deok Im each night time, after which giggled, after which melted, when San rushes over to see Deok Im, on the (pretend) information that she’s unwell, after which refuses to depart, and holds her in his arms all night time. 🥰
Sigh.. Deok Im actually appears so completely satisfied and content material, as she lies in his arms.
After which, my coronary heart lurched at how San, thrilled on the information of Deok Im’s being pregnant, truly stops himself in his tracks as he’s on the best way to see her, to be able to go to the Queen as an alternative.
What strikes me about all of it, is how.. bittersweet their love needs to be. Not like extraordinary individuals, San has an obligation to his nation, in addition to to his Queen, and Deok Im has to grasp that, to be able to honor him and all that he’s.
How sobering and heartbreaking it have to be, although, to anxiously await the arrival of the daddy of your child, to rejoice within the completely satisfied information collectively, solely to understand that he has to spend the night time with another person, as a result of you might be pregnant.
It’s a bitter capsule to swallow, and I’m starting to grasp, greater than ever, why Deok Im hadn’t wished to be a royal concubine, regardless of her clear love for San.
On that observe, I imagine that Deok Im made her selection knowingly; she’d merely lastly come to the conclusion that, in any case is claimed and executed, San means extra to her than her freedom.
She couldn’t bear the considered by no means seeing San once more, and due to this fact selected to be with him, regardless that she knew that it meant that her complete world would change, and that she would by no means have the ability to go away the palace once more.
On a associated type of observe, I additionally wished to say that whereas it’d sound a bit jarring to the ear, to listen to San say, a lot of occasions this episode, that it doesn’t matter whether or not Deok Im loves him or not, as a result of she is his, I don’t assume that that is meant to determine his place of energy over her.
Reasonably, I are likely to assume that that is San’s method of comforting himself, that Deok Im has not instructed him that she loves him. From every little thing that we’ve seen of San’s emotions in the direction of Deok Im, I’m satisfied that San needs nothing extra, than for Deok Im to inform him that she loves him.
Nevertheless, she has not executed so, and regardless that she has given little indications, like telling him that she misses him, it isn’t fairly the identical as her telling him that she loves him. And, San reiterating that it doesn’t matter as a result of she is his, is his method of coping, I really feel.
I do love our closing scene, the place San thinks of the title that he’d like to provide Deok Im, if she had been to provide delivery to a son and due to this fact turn into a Consort, as a result of the title that he picks for her, is pitch good. It’s about household, and love, and that’s precisely what Deok Im is, to him.
What a candy little image of household bliss, as Deok Im asks San if he can really feel the child, and he smilingly says that he can, whereas she chuckles at how superb he have to be, if he actually can really feel the child.
Awww. Can we have now San and Deok Im be completely satisfied like this collectively, at all times? Fairly please? ❤️🥺
Episode 17
Augh. What. A. Finale.
How did this ultimate episode handle to make me cry a lot from heartache, and but, handle to depart my coronary heart feeling full? I really feel like I’ve had the wind knocked out of me, and but, it feels completely worthwhile.
I’ve to confess, I’d balked after I first noticed the size of this episode. A complete hour and 40 minutes; that’s principally a full-length film, is what I assumed. And but, as soon as I began watching it, I used to be pulled alongside effortlessly by the story that Present wished to inform. I didn’t as soon as really feel just like the episode was too lengthy and due to this fact I wanted a break.
If something, the one breaks I took, had been as a result of it was all a bit a lot to course of, emotionally. It was my coronary heart that wanted the break, and that has nothing to do with the episode feeling too lengthy.
Earlier than I get began on my ideas, although, I really feel it will be helpful to deal with the potential elephant within the room: that Deok Im dies just some brief years after turning into San’s concubine. My mother disliked Present’s ending as a result of Deok Im died.
And, nicely, honest sufficient, I get that this may be an upsetting flip of occasions in any story.
Nevertheless, I’d like to supply the angle, that Present had chosen to inform this story from throughout the pages of historical past, and the very fact is, there’s no getting round Deok Im’s early demise, until Present fully ignores historical past, and writes an alternate ending.
And whereas that is likely to be the selection that some exhibits make, that isn’t the selection that this present makes, and for that, I feel Present deserves respect.
Present chooses to stay with probably the most tough a part of this historical past – that Deok Im dies an early demise – and manages to weave (what I feel is) a superbly poignant perspective into its narrative, which I very a lot admire.
Due to the monster size of the episode, I don’t foresee that I can speak about every little thing intimately. However I do need to ensure that I contact on all of the issues that basically stood out to me.
To start with, Present completely doesn’t shrink back from exhibiting us how tough and painful life might be, for each Deok Im and San, with the opening scene being of their younger son on his demise mattress, with San cradling him as a tearful, helpless father, and Deok Im, unable to see him, as a result of he’s acquired the measles, and he or she can’t danger the wellbeing of the kid in her womb.
The truth that Deok Im doesn’t get to see her son one final time, earlier than his passing, is actually heartbreaking. The truth that she’s anticipated to gird herself up and be sturdy, as a result of she’s not the one one who’s misplaced her little one, feels merciless, notably when that assertion comes from San.
My coronary heart broke for Deok Im, inside seconds of beginning this finale, and it continued to interrupt for her, via this complete episode.
On the similar time, it’s not onerous to see that San himself is heartbroken on the lack of his son, and isn’t permitting himself to grieve, due to his responsibility to the nation, as King. That scene, the place San breaks down sobbing, on their own in his research, made my coronary heart ache for the way unhappy and lonely San is.
That just about sums up the dilemma for San, via his reign. He’s frequently torn between acknowledging his personal emotions and desires, and fulfilling his responsibility as King.
I really feel that Younger Hee’s affair, imprisonment and eventual demise serves a couple of completely different functions, in our narrative.
It serves for instance of how San needs to be trustworthy to his royal duties, regardless that he has the ability to avoid wasting Younger Hee. To be able to be a good and simply King, San has to condemn one in all Deok Im’s dearest mates to demise.
That has to harm each him and Deok Im, and but, they’re each sadly stoic about it, as a result of they each perceive that this isn’t his selection.
On the similar time, this occasion does serve so as to add to Deok Im’s deteriorating state, not solely emotionally, but additionally, mentally and bodily.
Although Present shouldn’t be clear on Deok Im’s eventual reason for demise, I really feel that her grief over her son’s demise, after which Younger Hee’s demise as nicely, positively brought on her bodily deterioration, and really seemingly additionally eroded her will to dwell.
On a extra symbolic type of degree, I really feel that Younger Hee’s story serves as an echo to Deok Im’s personal story. Younger Hee tells Deok Im that she had chosen love, regardless that she understood the dangers that it entailed, and the hazard to herself that she was endeavor, in selecting love. Although, ultimately, her love has led her to demise, she doesn’t remorse the selection that she’s made.
Isn’t that basically Deok Im’s story, summed up? Deok Im, too, selected love, regardless that, in selecting love, she knew the ache that it entailed. However she selected love anyway, as a result of she had felt that it was a worthwhile selection. And ultimately, her love does, in a method, result in her demise, however she doesn’t resent San for it, and neither does she mourn the selection that she’d made.
Due to this, I truly admire the inclusion of Younger Hee’s story, as a result of it serves as such an excellent mirror for Deok Im’s love and Deok Im’s selection, which we’ve been witnessing, over the course of our story.
In that scene the place Deok Im, Kyung Hee and Bok Yeon speak about assembly once more (within the inferred afterlife), the place they might look forward to each other and dwell in a home by a bookstore, Deok Im is the one who asks what the penalty could be, if any of them doesn’t preserve the promise.
On hindsight, that serves as a foreshadowing of our eventual ending, doesn’t it, the place we see that Deok Im has been ready for San, on the little home that had served as her royal quarters, as an alternative of for her mates, as beforehand promised.
I’d wish to assume that even then, Deok Im had identified that she would find yourself selecting to attend for San within the afterlife. That’s simply how a lot she loves him.
Additionally on hindsight, I feel that that’s why Deok Im had requested to see Kyung Hee and Bok Yeon on her deathbed, as an alternative of San. She says that it’s as a result of she is aware of that he’ll be alright, as a result of he’s sturdy, and he’s the King, whereas she is all the women have.
Past that, although, I imagine it’s as a result of, by this level, Deok Im’s already clear that she’s going to see San once more, as a result of she’s going to look forward to him within the afterlife, however that is the final time she may see her mates, as a result of she is not going to be ready for them, as promised.
Although Deok Im tells San, on her deathbed, to cross her by if he had been to fulfill her of their subsequent life, I don’t see that as Deok Im rejecting San.
I really feel that it’s principally Deok Im expressing her want for private company, if she had been to have a subsequent life. And, within the context of our eventual ending, the place Present hints that San and Deok Im keep collectively perpetually within the afterlife, this assertion lands extra as a hypothetical want, than an precise request for San to keep away from her of their subsequent life.
On the similar time, I really feel sorry for San, not just for having to say goodbye to Deok Im, but additionally as a result of, regardless that Deok Im’s actions have indicated her love for him, there are seeds of doubt in his thoughts too, due to her choice to not articulate her emotions for him.
And, over time, it’s simple for these seeds of doubt to take root and develop stronger.
Within the wake of Deok Im’s demise, it’s clear simply how heartbroken, and simply.. typically damaged, San is, from dropping her. Due to this, I really feel that his articulated choice to overlook Deok Im, isn’t actually about forgetting her per se.
Reasonably, I see this as San selecting to place away his ideas and recollections of Deok Im – bury them in a nook of his coronary heart, if you’ll – in order that he’d have the ability to operate, and fulfill his royal duties.
I do imagine that if San had not made that selection, to place away his ideas of Deok Im, that he would have been paralyzed for a really very long time, and that may’ve been simply unacceptable, for a King.
Due to this fact, when San as soon as once more speaks of Deok Im, later within the episode, and asks to see the belongings that she’d left behind, I don’t consider it as him instantly remembering her, after having forgotten her. I see it extra as him lastly giving himself permission to assume upon her as soon as once more.
In that scene the place Kyung Hee tries to inform San about Deok Im’s true emotions for him, I really feel like San’s sturdy response, the place he refuses to permit Kyung Hee to complete talking, comes from these seeds of doubt that I talked about earlier.
I get it, truly. Coz typically, regardless that the actions do converse louder than phrases, you continue to need the reassurance of the phrases themselves, and that’s one thing that San didn’t get, from Deok Im.
The scene of San opening the field, and fingering every of Deok Im’s belongings, and pondering again on the recollections related to each bit, because the tears fall freely, is so very poignant. The completely satisfied recollections, although candy, are actually tinged with pathos, with Deok Im gone from San’s facet.
Specifically, I discover San’s tearful realization, as he holds her jeogori after which sobs into it, that Deok Im had been so tiny, additional poignant. It’s like Deok Im had been smaller and extra fragile than he’d realized, and he’s overcome now, on the realization that she had wanted extra safety than he’d thought.
What a transferring interpretation of the scene by Junho, really.
I very a lot appreciated the nugget of a scene, the place the always-contrary, always-grumpy minister tells San that he’s truly glad that San is his king, as a result of it provides San the reassurance that he’s executed proper by the throne, after having given it his all, all these years.
It’s so poignant that on his deathbed, San’s ideas instantly go to Deok Im. The sheen of tears in his eyes, says a lot, about how a lot he loves her and misses her, even now.
I truly actually, actually love the concept of the “reverse dream,” the place, in falling deeper into unconsciousness, San wakes up from his nightmare yet again, mendacity in Deok Im’s lap, identical to he had earlier than.
Besides, this time, regardless that Deok Im urges him to return to are likely to royal issues, San chooses to remain.
I like this concept, that San has a selection within the matter.
He is aware of that going via that door, he would get to dwell an extended life, and do extra for his nation, as a King. However the place earlier than, he’d at all times made the selection to place his royal duties first, this time, he chooses to place Deok Im and their love, first.
Deok Im’s been ready for him, all these years, and I imagine that even when San had chosen to return to his royal duties, that she would have continued to attend for him, till he had been prepared to come back to her. However this time, San makes her his precedence, and chooses to stick with her, somewhat than return.
I do love the closing voiceover that we get from San and Deok Im, who collectively point out that, nonetheless one interprets this second, they’re collectively perpetually, now.
San: “If this… is a previous reminiscence, it’s high quality. If it’s a dream, it’s high quality. It doesn’t matter if I’m lifeless. I’ll… at all times select this second with you… and hope… this second to not change. For this second… to be perpetually.”
Deok Im: “So the second… turned perpetually.”
Via the lens of a reverse-dream, it’s their duty-bound lives that make up the dream, whereas their time now, collectively, is their actuality, and.. that’s fairly lovely, I really feel.
If they are often collectively now, for all eternity, on this completely satisfied bubble that’s suspended exterior of time, then it looks like the entire obstacles that they’d overcome collectively, to be able to love one another, are worthwhile looking back. At the very least, that’s how I’d like to consider it.
Be completely satisfied collectively, San and Deok Im.. Could you now get pleasure from many, many lifetimes’ value of affection, pleasure and happiness collectively, now that you’re one another’s perpetually household. 🥲❤️
THE FINAL VERDICT:
Stunning, intricate and wealthy in its characterization, and poignantly satisfying in its storytelling.
FINAL GRADE: A
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